Happy New Year!

When you know better, you do better.  Reflect on your experiences this past year and strive to do better in the coming year.  Wishing you a joyous and prosperous New Year.

R.I.P. Teena Marie

1956-2010
"I'm a Black artist with White skin.  At the end of the day you have to sing what's in your own soul."

-Teena Marie

Merry Christmas

 

 May the peace and joy of Christ be with you now and always.

Merry Christmas.

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All Hail the Queen

The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Send prayers up.

UPDATE-In an interview with Wendy Williams, the Queen says rumors of pancreatic cancer are false.

Interesting Commentary

From The Savvy Sista

Editor's Note:

I'm not sure who originally wrote this article, but if anyone knows of that person please let me know so I can give them credit for their work.  Someone emailed it to me and I felt the need to share it with my readers as is (typos and all).  It's a pretty long read but it's definitely worth it.

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth, I guess I kind of imagined a Women's Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons:  You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so and so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity etc...

It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each other's biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each other's faults and nitpick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her worthless.

We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking  "they are cute"  but turn around and dog the average sista because "  she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a man!"   We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat tails.

We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting to darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like, what has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along.

Why is that we fight amongst ourselves, backstab and  steal each others men (only to find out we should have left him where we found him)?

We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich handsome husband etc, this does not mean that should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on.

We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a woman who's child father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent.

If I could get just one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because I'm the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace!

Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend.

The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!  I'm not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony, but I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece.

If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save someone's life. PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayer.

I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and that if need be you are available to listen. Nothing bad is going to happen if you don't forward this e-mail but I'd like to think that something positive will happen if you choose to pass it along. May favor be extended to each and everyone of your lives, keep your head up and know that someone somewhere cares!

Happy Birthday MVV!

 

Happy Birthday to the love my life-my Husband, MVV.

He's the perfect "Daddy" to his girls.

He's a great role model to his boys.

He's happiest when they're all together and we recently added to the brood.  He loves being a dad.

He's a devoted son to his mom.

He's a devoted son to my mom.

 His brothers and sister think the world of him too!

He's a good friend with a wonderful sense of humor.  Nod to C.T.

 And truth be told-he WAS a phenomenal athlete.  Go Quakers!

Love you with all my heart-Have a wonderful day!

Flawless Friday

Stunning...To Me Too!

Things have been a little dark for me right now, but....this image made me remember that there is beauty-even in the dark.  Thanks for the much needed reminder Monica. 

If you don't know Monica Mingo-click on her name above and get to know her.  She is a woman who lives by her own lights, tells it like it is, and is as funny as she is brutally honest.  She always (SIP excluded) comes from a place of love-even if its tough love.  Her posts invite discussion, and the "tribe" is a delightful mix of women (sometimes men), who are just as insightful, wise, and entertaining as she.  If that's not enough for you-she makes films-good ones. 

Check out her blog-she is a phenomenal, inspirational woman.  

Just Do It!

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I Have a Dream

It seems as though we are moving backwards regarding race relations, and living in a civil society.  We are not free.  On the contrary I think that we are in bondage more than ever.  How could one even consider  entertaining a rally at the Lincoln Memorial on the 47th Anniversary of Dr. King's most famous speech unless the topic is about loving each other?  What's going on today is all about hate mongering and just plain mean spirited.   It's a slap in the face.  It's.........I have no words to convey the anger and sadness I feel right now.  As a country we need to be free from this foolishness.  When those at the rally today are spewing venom, pray.  It changes everything and is your strongest weapon against hate.

I believe that nothing should be about race, but about God's children loving each other the way we love ourselves.  Period.  That would take care of every single problem in this world.  Dare to believe that it's that simple.

WTF is going on?  This is not the dream we signed up for.  Today, I am going to tune out all of the noise, and  I ask that you do too.  If you want to know what should be going on today in DC-remind yourself below.

I've missed being here.

On Target?

I've been unplugged for a bit but.....WTF?????
Is polishing your nails in class freedom of self expression?
Lord I must be getting old-I missed the joke. 
I could only see myself with my hands around my daughter's throat when the school called to tell me she was polishing her nails in class.
  

Happy Birthday!

To Me.

In my Inbox:

Happy Birthday Divamom.  You have managed to maintain the appearance of youthfulness despite what the calendar says. 

My response:

Thank you my dear.  I think.

For the record, I am celebrating my 49th birthday today and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

Desiree Rogers Interview

We haven't heard from her in a while-she looks good, and her conversation is gracious. Class Act.

courtesy

Money Money Money Money! Money!

Sing the title to the tune of the O'Jay's infamous song.

The Mini Me's got their first checks of the summer!

One had already been to the bank.  Wonder how much he has left after the weekend?

Flawless Friday

jfkjr.com  and jfkjronline.com

This is THE most handsome man I have ever seen.  He died 11 years ago today.

R.I.P. Vonetta McGee

American Actress-Classic Beauty

Vonetta McGee

1945-2010

Just Checking In

Needed to be quiet for a while.  I've been checking in on all my favorite blogs and trying to smile a bit more.
I'm also trying to appreciate how strong and fabulous I really am, and take more pictures of myself.  I am very critical of me and thus, camera shy.  My Mini-Me's, however, are not!
Enjoy!  I'll be back as soon as I can.

Tuesday Tease

Lance Gross

Motown Monday

Kelly Rowland-Awesome Styling.

Flawless Friday

Happy Anniversary Baby+Mommy and Daddy

54 years ago, Virgie Boyd said "I Do" to Bernard Phifer.

15 years ago, I did the same after 4 years together.
Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad.
Happy Anniversary to my husband-he knows I'll go to the limit:



One More:

Flawless Friday

R.I.P.

1958-2009

Michael Memory III

Front row seats-Jackson Victory Tour!!

Zen and I were having such a great time at the show.  We were hollering and screaming like little girls.  I firmly believe that you always have the most fun when you don't give a damn.  We didn't give a damn.  At one point I made eye contact with Randy Jackson (who cares it was Randy-right), and we were having this intense stare down while he was performing.  For some reason I didn't feel that connection anymore and I followed his eyes that had moved ever so slightly.  I'll be damned if Zen wasn't having stare sex with him too!  We never laughed so hard in our lives.  And yes I know this is a picture of Marlon with Mike-work with me ok?

Anyway they were performing as the Jackson 5 and although were loving it-it was time for Mike solo.  He didn't disappoint.  Michael Jackson is the ultimate show-man.  As he performed Billie Jean, there was anticipation for his signature choreography and then all of a sudden......Michael REALLY made eye contact with me, and the next thing I know...

The Billie Jean hat went right into my hands! 

The Black Fedora came from Hats in the Belfry in Georgetown.
The white silk lining was wet with Michael Jackson's sweat and Jerri Curl juice.
I put it on my head for a split second so my head could be where his was and then protected it like a newborn until I got it home.
Sigh.  I love Michael Jackson.
He was my wallpaper growing up and he entertained me his entire life.
I can't believe he's gone-much less gone a year.
R.I.P.

Michael Memory II

I'm dot number 256340.

If you want to know what i'm talking about-get the details here .

R.I.P. Edith Shain-Times Square Kiss

The nurse, Edith Shain in this symbolic image, passed away today at the age of 91.

Michael Memory I

First of all, if you read the post yesterday, click it again and read my footnote.
Kids will keep you honest!

Anyway, the year is 1984 and I was listening to the six o'clock news.  Renee Poussaint (a DC news anchor) was reading the evening's headlines and top of the list was that tickets for the Jacksons Victory Tour were going on sale the next morning.  Up until that point, news of the concert didn't phase me, but for some reason, I felt a big pull to try to get tickets.  I called my girl ZEN  to see if she wanted to camp out in front of RFK Stadium in DC to get tickets.  She couldn't make it, but that didn't stop me.  I grabbed a lawn chair and hopped in the car.  I was anxious the entire ride down thinking that I would be in a long line that had already formed.

I was totally alone at RFK Stadium!  As the evening wore on, people started coming with food, blankets, and music.  We all looked out for each other for bathroom breaks and the like, but we all knew the coveted prize was going to me!  First in line-front row seats!  And to make it even sweeter, each person was limited to 10 tickets apiece and I only needed 4.  I sold my right to buy for $100, so I made $600 that night.  When the box office opened up the next morning, the television cameras were there and filmed me buying the very first tickets for the Jackson Victory Tour.  I recorded the news later in the day, and I still have the tape somewhere (granted it's on a Beta tape).  Look it up youngin's if you don't know what a Betamax is, or should I say-was. 

 

Details from the concert tomorrow!

Michael Memory

My children and I were in the car one day listening to the local R&B station.  Luther had just gone off the air and Usher followed him.  My husband's daughter was a young teen at the time and the younger kids were teasing her about crushing on Usher.  As we were laughing, the kids asked me who I was crushing on "back then".  Thinking it a slam dunk, I told them to guess.  They wanted to know if it was Luther.  I laughed and realized it might be a little harder for them than I thought.  Well after a while, they gave up and I told them it was Michael Jackson.

*crickets*

They looked at me as if I had two heads.

Took me a minute to realize that their images of Mike were something like this:

They didn't know that no matter what, I would always see him as this:

From that moment on, I made it my mission to make sure that they were educated on Mike the master-entertainer-singer-dancer-genius.  

When news of his death broke, it was my children who gently woke me up from a nap, and told me to watch TV.

I overheard them later tell friends who called, that I wasn't taking any calls and they would relay condolences.

Gotta love them for that.

** FOOTNOTE  
The kids read the post yesterday and reminded me I forgot the best part of the story.  You see, after they looked at me like a two headed monster, they burst out laughing and saying stuff like UGHHH, GROSS, and YUCK.  I told them there was absolutely nothing funny about my love for Mike, and they needed to be quiet because he could've been their daddy!  I was serious.

Flawless Friday

Iman, 54, is flawless at the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) awards June 7.  

She was honored with the Fashion Icon Award.  Let's have a moment of silence on that 54 years old.  Proof that elegance still reigns supreme and that women over 50 can still make it rain.

Tuesday Tease

Idris Elba

Flawless Friday

Thank you Ciao Bella!

 After last weeks' Flawless Friday post, it's good to feel pink and pretty and girly again!

I'm in the Fight of My Life

Stand with me today.

OVERCOMING OPPOSITION      

A wide door has been opened to me and with it are many adversaries (I Corinthians 16:9).

God is always giving us opportunities to move forward in life.  It is God's desire that you grow and reach your full potential.  Any time you take a step forward, the enemy will try to bring opposition and adversity against you.  Paul said in I Corinthians 16:9, "A wide door has been opened to me and with it are many adversaries."  God promises that through Him, you can overcome any opposition the enemy brings your way.

When you step out in faith and opposition comes, stand your ground and keep doing what you know to do.  Keep on praying, reading the Bible, going to church and walking in love and forgiveness.  Keep your heart tender and speak words of hope and victory over your life.  When the enemy sees you are more determined than he is, he'll back down and you'll move forward to new levels of victory!  Stay focused and full of joy no matter what comes against you.  You will overcome opposition and walk through the door the Lord has opened to you!

PRAY WITH AND FOR ME TODAY:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for this day and for every opportunity to advance in my life.  I ask for the wisdom to make the right choices, and I determine to stand on Your promises.  I thank You that you are bigger than any problem I may encounter.  Thank you for loving me and setting me free to walk in victory today.

Joel Osteen Ministries
30 Thoughts for Victorious Living